Arse man.

The date’s been looming for a while. Even if I had hid the letter under a big pile. Today was finger up the arse day! The joys. I went in January to see him the first time. I don’t think I wrote about it. I was absolutely full of flu then and just 3 weeks post EUA. At the time I couldn’t understand why he didn’t examine the skin around my anus (this is where the issue is) with ‘magic glasses’ but stuck his finger up my arse. I’m not 100% convinced he knows what he is supposed to be looking for. I told him today that what I really need is an anoscope. But hey what do I know?

Arse man, who is probably a lovely guy, but isn’t yet tuned into me, proceeded to stick various things up my arse. I think he may of thought I was serious when I proclaimed I’d been looking forward to this for weeks. When he told me was just wiping me clean from the lube, I replied with ‘Such service!’ There is no dignity left. None.

He believes I should be ‘extra safe’ and have another examination under anaesthetic and biopsies. Here’s the thing. I don’t want to be extra safe. I want to get on with my bloody life.

I asked him what he would be looking for and what he would do if he found it (Just to make sure he knew really) He said if cancer or pre-cancer was found I’d be referred elsewhere as they don’t have the speciality there to deal with it. What is the point of going there then???

Was rather surprised by the fact that I wasn’t all over him like a rash to get EUA booked in. Said I’d go away and think about it.

Royally pissed off.