Not what I was expecting.

So, I’ve been a bit absent. After my last visit which was pretty horrible I had the frustrating news that it was insufficient sample and my smear had to be re done. I tramped back to Bath a couple of weeks ago, saw Nick, had my smear redone and met a friend for lunch. All rather jolly, all very low key, all good.

Today I got my results. They absolutely weren’t what I was expecting. Having had major surgery just 8 months ago to try and halt this nonsense I was expecting just a little reprieve .

The high grade precancer is back.

I have 3 options.

1. Do nothing. This is so tempting. If I wasn’t a mum it would probably be what I would do. It’s pretty certain that this pre cancer will become cancer but it could be in 10 years time it could be in 6 months time. No one can tell me that. No one can tell me that it can be caught before it spreads. Although it seems a favourable option I don’t think I could honestly quiet my mind knowing I had a ticking time bomb inside of me. But it is, regardless of all this rationalising, a very tempting proposition.

2. Have a further chunk of my vagina removed. This will leave me with such a small vagina it would be useless for all the things vaginas are designed for. It also leaves some vagina left to become cancerous so bearing that in mind it doesn’t seem that favourable either.

3. Have the lot removed. No vagina at all. I’ve been offered a reconstruction. This is in itself major surgery.

Back to Bath next week for further discussions.




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