‘open the vault’

Yesterday was my check up. I wasn’t expecting to get a letter inviting me in. As I went in March I didn’t think I’d be in until September. But apparently they visit didn’t count so off I went.

I really didn’t want to go. What with other health issues bubbling away, I really couldn’t work up any enthusiasm for a trip to Bath. Mostly I really couldn’t be arsed to sort out my body hair! So I didn’t. In a bizarre attempt at least being in control of something.

My poor son bore the brunt of my ‘run up to check up irritability’ I’m sure he breathes a sigh of relief when he waves me off.

They were running really late. I was offered the choice of waiting to see Russ or another doctor, who was free. I chose to wait. Better a wait than a strange doctor in my eyes.

The appointment was pretty shit. New nurse, student doctor in tow, no Jane and my hairy muff on the big screen (which has never worked before!!!) Note to nurses. DO NOT check my ID details when I’m having a brush stuck up my vag. Please.

Because of having so little of my vagina left now, internals are painful. Really horrible. I still can’t get my head around the fact that I’ve got very little left. Doc Requesting smaller speculums….I’ll spare you some of the details but it is amazingly shit.

But has to be done.

Colposcopy showed some ‘pale areas of skin’. I said I didn’t want biopsies today. I really wasn’t feeling the love AT ALL. Vault smear done, if that comes back abnormal I’ll have to go back in.

Usual trick of getting out of there as quickly as possible, whole appointment probably no more than 10 minutes. And 7 of those on my back.

Better luck next time.