Hospital Stay 10th Jan-15th Jan 2014


I hope no-one reading this ever has to hear the words ‘You have Cancer.’

It’s a pretty false hope though as the statistics are 1 in 3. Certainly in my family that statistic seems to be pretty bang on.

If you do ever have to hear those words, or indeed if you ever have, you will find yourself in a bit of a tail spin.

We all know we are going to die. Death and Taxes being the two certainties in life. It’s just that I had hoped I wouldn’t of had to face up to my own mortality just yet.

But I did, and I was offered an operation, which whilst a major op with many known side effects and dangers, was the best possible way to save my life.

Bit of a no brainer surely?

The time it had taken to go from GP visit to Operation was exactly a month. Hardly a massive amount of time to get your head around things.

So, with all that in mind, I found my roomates in the ward very hard to deal with.

The lady next to me was either suffering from some pshychiatric ailment or had severe learning difficulties.
She reapetedly screamed at the woman opposite her to ‘Shut the fuck up’ or she had conversations with herself. One night she had sex in her mind with a man called ‘A’ playing out loud both parts of the action! She repeatedly rang the buzzer all through the night. For things such as getting her glasses cleaned, her water to be given to her etc etc. When she was ignored she ranted ‘None of you basterds care about me’

I’m not exactly sure what was physically wrong with her. She was pitifully thin. Anorexia perhaps?

Opposite her, so diagonal to me was a very elderly lady of 97. She was so frail and small and ghostly that more than one of my visitors didn’t actually realise that there was anyone in that bed. She never spoke, or left the bed. She was doubly incontinent and her care consisted of changing of pads, turning her body, treating her pressure sores, spoon feeding her the smallest amounts of food. She had been declared ‘medcially fit’ i.e there was nothing that could be done to actually treat her. She was just dying….slowly. Whenever she was disturbed she would wail, often looking me straight in the eyes, silently pleading, as she did. This would set the woman next to me off on her ‘Shut the fuck up’ tirade.

The beautiful Phyllis opposite would roll her eyes at me and mutter that that kind of language wasn’t appropriate for hospital!

Luckily after 2 days the woman next to me was transferred to another hospital. Her replacement was a lady of 92.

Whilst she was harmless, she obviously saw me as a fit young thing!! She would ask me to turn her light out, ring the nurse for her. She had bowel issues and often sat on her comode just behind the curtain next to me and fill it. She was in a lot of pain and for whatever reason refused painkillers, so she would moan and wail through the night.


Like I say.

I hope you never hear the ‘You have cancer’ line.

But what I hope more is that no-one EVER has to recover from major life saving surgery in the circumstances I had to.

Now people who think I was a little foolish to get discharged when I did, can understand my urgency.


One thought on “Hospital Stay 10th Jan-15th Jan 2014

  1. In out
    In out
    Shake it all about
    Do the Hokey Kokey and you turn around
    And that’s what it’s all about !
    (Sung to the tune of ‘Hokey Kokey’)
    I have lost track of if you’re in or out.
    Phone been off for a week, so no internet either.
    How did we survive without it ?
    Anyway I have read all blog and Facebook posts to catch up.
    You have had quite an adventure already my old friend but it sounds like you are approaching it all like I knew you would, with huge strength and lots and lots of humour.
    Message me your address if you get 5 mins.
    Huge hugs
    Em x

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